he was CRYING into my vagina
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
