U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize