ugly people sure do ruin things
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
