At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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