His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
