Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
whose parrot is this?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
