im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just found puke in my bra..
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
