I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
