hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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