so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
