her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize