I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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