CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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