What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
