TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
