so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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