She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
