Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
she looked like the before picture.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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