I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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