We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
