She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
