i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
