At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think your dad took our porno
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
