Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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