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Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
