in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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