Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
