I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
