I'm lost and stupid without you.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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