i jhust puked up my retainher.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
