I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
