Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
