That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
