I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
