Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
