People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
