we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
