Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize