Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
