What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
