Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
