yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Randomize
