he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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