hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
