I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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