worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
