Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
