I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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