I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
COCAINE IS GR8
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize