You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
