he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
