I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
