careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize