Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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