I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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