who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
