hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
