just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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