Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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