My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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