McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
