i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
