my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
