so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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