His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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