Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
