kristin has been a bad kristin
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
