You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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