Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
