i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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