Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
