we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize