I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
