I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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