If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
