That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize