Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
And my parents said I crawled through the house
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
