Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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