is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
we're so committed to being not committed
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
