I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
