a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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