Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
