If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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