anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
