Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
