U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize