Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
