she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
