Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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