i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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