There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
