she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
