Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
